I will like to share a story with everyone who cares to gain wisdom and it’s titled “Chronicles of a black woman”. This story does not depict a usual trend that is commonplace in every regular family in the place I come from. There are good people, fantastic families in my country where man, wife and children live in peace and harmony. I need to stress this point in order not to leave a wrong impression about Nigerians, in the minds of my esteemed audience.
Telling a story about one`s life experiences builds up our physical and mental health and helps the next person to you to heal and grow quickly. Everyone has his or her own unique story and here is the story of a friend of mine called Temitope Adeola Falusi. I want you to join me on this journey and make useful contributions from which we can all learn.
Temitope Falusi’s story:
My name is Temitope Adeola Falusi. I am 30years old, a Nigerian who lives in Chicago, USA. I work as a nurse in one of the reputable hospitals in Illinois.
I was staring at my world through a window in my large apartment that I just moved in with my three year old daughter, suddenly I realized my heart was pounding out of my chest. I guessed it was as a result of series of questions flooding my mind.
How did I get here? Why did I allow myself to fail in my marriage? I felt ashamed of myself and this prompted me to look back, retrace my steps and evaluate to see if I would find answers to my questions.
I grew up with ten siblings and caring parents. Our family was so unique that I had to ask myself someday: how on earth was my mum delivered of ten children?. In the long run, I discovered I was wrong and that was when my dad decided to take another wife.
Marrying this woman brought a lot of trouble and chaos in our lives. This is because she tore us apart and made us realize that my mum’s supposed ten children were just only four, the other six were from other women.
My mother is a wonderful woman without a voice, a woman who deeply loves her husband with all her heart and soul. My mother is a true description of a virtuous woman (Proverb 31). A trusted woman, a woman that loves with all her heart and mind and does not disregard her husband for any reason.
Unfortunately, my mum’s inability of having a voice did not make things really great, especially when my dad married another woman. Things started falling apart, actually everything fell apart, everything.
My dad decided to ignore my mum and concentrate more on his new wife. Life was tough on us, and we were like kids living in a big house but living the life of the poorest child. The basic thing we were entitled to was education and when I mean education, I mean he paid only school fees and leave the rest to be sorted by who, I don’t know!!!. My mum had a shop for her petty trade in front of our house and she tried to support us through the proceeds from her shop.
When I was 18 years of age,I started discovering myself. During this period, my dad was sick and this lasted for about six months. Things were really hard on us. My mum`s shop was almost shut down at that point, because she depleted all that came from her petty business on feeding us and taking care of my father.
While his other wife was a little bothered with his predicament, all she cared about was her work, her kids and at times she reluctantly said hi to us, “imagine that”, but in spite of this, my dad still loved her.
The type of love my mum had for my dad is what I will really call unconditional. When you say a woman loves her husband with all her heart and soul, yes, that’s my mum. This made me think about her in a weird way as she placed her husband’s interests above her children’s. And as a young girl that wasn’t so exposed to life, I had to settle for that belief as the best way of life because that was what I learnt from her.
I took a local primary school teaching job to support myself and my family financially. However, it was a herculean task, I had to speak to my step mum to persuade my dad on my behalf, because my mum had no voice when it came to decision making. My dad`s wife spoke to him and he agreed, though he was not happy about my choice.
They say, “a child is seen as the true reflection of the parents”, and because of the faulty orientation I got from my mother, low self-esteem haunted me so badly at this point of my life. I am so shy that even making friends is a big deal for me.
Please join me in the next episode of my journey…………………………………