My husband said he is sexually attracted to my daughter

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Here is a message we received in our linkedin inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that, a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to duchessintmagazine@yahoo.com


Dear Duchess,

 
My name is Sandra, a 50-year-old woman with two younger children at home. I have been in a 8 year relationship with a man that I have known for almost 20 years.  I am 13 years older than him, but for the last 7 years we were having a good time until my daughter who is turning 15 started to mature.  My relationship is now strained and I know what I probably should do, but I am not on parr with that.  He has stated to the both of us that he has developed deep feelings for my 15 yr old daughter and loves me at the same time.  She is not remotely interested in him (thank  god).  The problem is that he loves me and I love him, but he says that he has a difficult time having relations with me because he states he feels guilty for cheating on my daughter.  He says he dreams about her all the time.  We have built a life together and neither of us want him to leave. I have never loved a man like this before.  We were friends prior to the relationship.  I’m sure my daughter wants him to leave, but for the moment they have both agreed not to talk or even look at each other.  She is disgusted that a grown man let alone the man she thought of as her dad (real dad passed away) I am at a loss of what to do, because my youngest son considers this man his dad.  We don’t want to hurt this younger child at all.  This man is having to deal with issues that neither of us thought of prior to the relationship.  He would love to have us both, but again my daughter is not interested and I am not interested in sharing.  At this point I am taking one day at a time until I know of the right thing to do.  If he leaves, I will have to sell my house and everything we have both worked towards.  I don’t want to send my daughter off to boarding school.  This whole thing has turned our entire life around.  Do you have any suggestions? 
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(Credit Image: © Miguel Juarez Lugo/ZUMA Wire)

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