I decided to stay with Tolu’s sister but I encountered a little problem. Her husband previously asked me out when we were in Nigeria. He promised to look after me and asked me to keep it secret. Can you imagine? How do I explain this to Tolu? I met with Tolu eventually, we talked at length and he explained to me why things went the way they did. He actually told me to be a little bit patient with him; he was trying to work some things out and that was why we couldn’t live together. Well, even though I didn’t understand what he meant, I had to say, okay. My only problem was that I didn’t want to live with his sister, but as he told me I had to stay there. I love him so much that I didn’t like us arguing; so whatever he wanted was law, ( I know you will say love without thinking, call it anything).
There was a time his sister was pregnant then and on the day she was to be delivered of her baby, her husband sat me down and told me the numbers of girlfriends Tolu had. He further explained how he messed around with them, but whenever I remember what my dad told me, that there was nothing for me in his will, this prompted me not to really care much about him cheating on me. All I wanted was to start working and be able to fend for myself.
His sister delivered a baby boy through Caesarean surgery, but the doctors forgot to close a part in her body and that caused her so much pain. Three days after delivery, she was back at the hospital. That night she left for the hospital, her husband offered to take me to Toll’s house to prove his point. It was around 2am, I agreed, on getting there I started knocking on the door, it took Tolu so much time to open the door. Getting in, I saw a lady wearing one of the sleep suits I brought from Nigeria for Tolu. I went nuts, ran upstairs, I saw used condoms on the floor, saw a picture of both of them hanging on the wall. There were a set of chains we both had, he bought it for both of us as a symbol of our love. I reached for the chain on his neck and cut it off. He dragged me into his car and we started driving towards his sister’s house. I eventually told Tolu about his sister’s husband asking me out, which was the reason I gave for not wanting to live with them. (Please don’t think I am stupid, that was the type of love I learnt from my mum, it’s also called openness, say the truth because you love him). So he told his brother, I nearly collapsed that day. I didn’t believe he would do that. I stayed in his sister’s house while he went back home to meet the girl. Wow!!! Last thing I was expecting. The next day I packed my bags, called a friend of mine, maybe I could hang out with her till I sort myself out, but she refused and gave me someone else’s number but it kept ringing on. Eventually the wife of Tolu’s brother called me and offered me an accommodation with her sister. I was really glad and took it. The big problem I had with that relationship was that I had no voice too. I believe the best way to act, especially when in a relationship was to be humble to a fault. Love with your eyes closed.
At times, I wondered why I didn’t expressed my disappointment to Tolu’s Mum considering how close we were in Nigeria, but I didn’t. Instead, the day I went to see her, I still went on brushing her hair, even though I didn’t forget she hurt me. I broke up with Tolu on the 25th of Nov.2003 and I quickly moved on, hustling to make ends meet.