Whether we are consciously aware of this or not, love or fear are the two driving powers in our lives. And everything we do is always based on a desire to feel good and share something meaningful with others.
This concept takes different forms depending on whether we are looking at it from a professional or personal level. But the bottom line is, love and prosperous relationships are integral to our human existence and happiness.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs already proved this to be true as his research showed that one of the core human needs is a sense of love and belonging.
Neither man nor woman was made to be an island…
But there is a lot of negativity in the media and World Wide Web around relationships. So much so, that one might be inclined to think it’s easier to give up on love and isolate oneself as much as possible. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that love still wins the day.
All you have to do is scroll through any magazine and there’ll be dozens of articles on a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend, an abusive partner, or a parent that feels mistreated by their child. Many mothers struggle with BMS (bad mother syndrome) because they’ve cultivated a negative belief in their abilities as a parent.
I recently got an invite from a newly formed website that offers relationships advice (and not the fairytale kind that I like), because the owners want to “protect young girls and show women that men are really pigs in disguise!”
You see in my opinion, it’s these kinds of conversations and mindsets that continue to fuel the negative cycle most women have trapped themselves in.
Oh, the lies women have bought into…
“I would like to change my husband’s behavior”, was the response from one of the participants who took a survey my agency was conducting. We asked a simple question to over 150 individuals: What would you like to improve in your life right now?
Among those who contributed, majority of the female participants were more interested in “changing someone else” than anything else. A husband, their children, a business partner or their boss. The response was certainly quite revealing to me. I came to understand that as women, relationships do play a big role for us, but for the most part, we are approaching it all wrong! And it’s time we made some adjustments.
There are many lies women have believed over time.
One of those lies is this idea that success comes at the expense of love.
I was guilty of that paradigm and it did not help me at all! I had to painfully learn to change my mindset and adopt a new set of beliefs for myself.
Another lie is that “all men are the same and there’s no more true love in our modern world” – I mean, really?
Surely that cannot be any more real than saying all women are the same. When we take on these stereotypes and accept that relationships are doomed in our society, then we might as well be drinking poison, because there’s no way to experience any other reality besides the one we make an agreement with.
Furthermore, our shortsightedness on love and relationships actually interferes with more than just romantic connections.
Think about it…
Business is about relationships. You and money is also a relationship. You and the health of your body is another form of a relationship. You and your maker is by the way the ultimate, intimate form of relationship there is.
In other words, relationships are the only real thing in your life.
So when you train your mind to negatively perceive the concept of relationships, you intrinsically affect so many other areas of your life.
To reverse this state that so many have unconsciously created, we must retrain and actually re-magnetize the mind, so it can serve us in the way it was designed to.
Whether you find yourself struggling with a professional or personal relationship, there are a few simple things you can do to see some rapid transformations.
Before I share what these are, let’s call out the elephant in the room. Consider for a moment the fact that you tend to remember and engage in negativity more than positivity.
Why is that?
Why is it so hard to spend most of your day, your internal dialogues and the images you hold of others in a state of passion, love and positive expectancy?
While in line at the bank, you notice a couple holding hands and kissing. They seem madly in love. What conversation goes on in your head? Are you thinking “Shame on them! It won’t even last.” or “what a beautiful sight. I’m so happy there’s so much love around me.”
A new guy you might be falling in love with is late to a dinner date that you’ve been looking forward to all month. He isn’t picking up the phone, hasn’t sent a text explaining why he’s late. You’re sitting there all dolled up in your favorite restaurant getting a bit impatient. What’s going on in your mind? Is it negative or positive?
The school unexpectedly calls you in for an appointment to discuss your child. So you drop everything and head over. On the drive there, what images, scenarios, thoughts, and feelings are creeping up?
These are just a few scenarios that can help you have a bearing on how you’ve wired your brain thus far.
And if you realize like I did when I first did this exercise that your brain tends to fixate on things going wrong, then I have news for you. We are not wired to think that way. Something’s gone awfully wrong.
Our Brains are not hard-wired for negativity
We are made in the image and likeness of God.Read Genesis 1:26
Have you ever truly thought about that statement? Well if you think it over long enough something new will stir up within. We have abandoned our true nature.
We’ve artificially conditioned ourselves to be more focused on negativity than goodness. And that is the beginning of all our woes because as we all know, whatever the mind conceives and believes, that, it must objectify.
I have spent a good number of years praying and meditating on what it means to be made in the image and likeness of God. So far, my conviction is that good constructive thoughts and a pure heart is our true nature. Abundance is our true nature. That’s what I see even when I look at an infant.
Yet something happens as we grow up. Toxic thinking takes over and ravages our brains and body ultimately projecting outward as reality and circumstances.
So, the way to reverse conditions and circumstances that aren’t truly our nature is by getting back to our heritage and discovering the truth about who we really.
Who you really are – is a divine being made in the image and likeness of the Great Creator. And love is your true nature. Giving and receiving love in abundance is what’s most natural to you once you do some unclogging and renewing of the mind.
Here’s the real truth…
Working on your mind is the best and only way to create relationships that are heaven sent.
The four things you must do first in order to re-magnetize yourself are:
1. Do a clarity through contrast exercise
This simple exercise that law of attraction coach Michael Losier teaches can be applied to many things. I like to use it for gaining relationship clarity because the first step to resetting your mind is pouring in light and clarity.
When it comes to attracting prosperous relationships, you need to first be clear on what that looks like for you. We are all different. My ideal happily ever after romance is probably not going to be anything like yours. Which is why you need to know exactly what you desire to experience.
Take a pen and an A4 paper and create 2 sections on the page. On one side label itcontrast (what you don’t want in the particular relationship you wish to have), and on the other side label it clarity.
Then do something very simple and super effective. Fill out that page with everything that comes to you. If you can’t think specifically of what you want, then start with what you don’t want and then on the opposite side of each statement you make, write its opposite.
When you know what you don’t want, it’s a step closer to knowing what you do want.
Each paper ought to serve only one specific relationship. So if you want to manifest a better relationship with your child and also to attract new love into your life, use two separate papers for each.
Once you finish the list of everything you would love to experience and have clarity, tear up the other half (contrast), trash it and hold on to the clarity section because you’re going to need it in just a bit.
2. Monitor your beliefs
Watch your current beliefs around love and relationships. If you have limiting beliefs around love, romance and relationships it’s going to be tough manifesting wonderful ones.
A woman with a strong belief in her ability to manifest prosperous relationships both at home and at work is far more likely to experience that reality than a woman with negative limiting beliefs or one who isn’t even consciously aware of what she believes.
Beliefs are the hardest thing to change for us as human beings because they are formed from a lifetime of conditioning. The only way to change your limiting beliefs is to retrain and renew your mind for prosperity.
Feed your mind with what I call prosperity food. Practice prosperous thinking every single day – yes even on weekends and holidays!
Also, use whatever free time you have to learn about others who’ve created the results you want to have. And don’t tell me you have no free time. You have plenty of short time periods that go unaccounted for like the 15minutes in line at a supermarket checkout or the 10-minute wait on the kids to come out of school.
3. Write your own love story
This is my favorite one being a writer and an incurable romantic. I know many people would rather skip this over mostly because they’ve lost that child-like spirit that expects wonderful, magical things to happen in their lives.
So I understand if this part feels awkward, even silly at first. But do it anyway!Remember that clarity exercise we worked on? Now we put things into play.
Everything you have on that paper becomes incorporated into an ongoing story with you as the main character possessing all the qualities you wrote down. By default, if you possess those qualities, all the other players that enter your love story will have to be a perfect match to you.It is by natural law.
I recently wrote an article on my blog identifying the main qualities that make us irresistible and attractive to our soul mates, so feel free to check that out if you’re still feeling unsure.
I recommend buying a small private journal. Big enough to fit into all your handbags! Whenever possible, use it to write out your own love story. However, you’d like it to be, using whatever phrases, format and style you most resonate with.
It can be a love story of your already present partner that you want to spice up. It can be a love story that is yet to manifest. It can be a love story of your children and the rich, happy, nourishing relationship you wish to build with them, full of adventure and fun.
Whatever love story you want to experience in your life, script it down now and watch how well life will imitate this secret creative expression.
4. Practice daily gratitude.
Gratitude has been scientifically proven to improve health, reduce stress, heal broken relationships and I can assure you, it will increase your magnetism and draw into your reality the beautiful, prosperous relationships you desire.
It is one of the greatest human powers on earth and it has an almost magical effect whenever one sincerely practices it.
Start feeling grateful for everything you do have in your life. Feel appreciative of who you are now and how far you’ve come.
If you can start your morning each day with this powerful practice, you’ll fill yourself with instant happiness, the right “feel good” hormones and the good “vibes” that you need to transmit into the world to ping just the right people, at just the right time without any extra effort.
Now, it’s time to take action and re-magnetize your world.
Here’s where I recommend you start…
Take a 21-day prosperity detox
This is a type of mental cleansing. A mental, emotional and spiritual detox that will help you unclog your pipes, sharpen your mental faculties and prep your entire being for these new practices you’ll be incorporating.
In the same way, one goes through a physical fast when they desire a physical cleanse, doing a 21- day detox is the fastest way to do an inner cleanse that will transform both your inner and outer world.
Emmet Fox wrote about the seven-day mental diet, and it’s a little book worth reading as it dives deeper into a shorter version of this detox. In essence what you must do is fast from any negative self-talk, conversations, criticism of any kind, judgment, resentment, arguments or any other form of negativity.
The main objective is to watch yourself like a cat waiting for a mouse and to banish all negativity from your mind. It’s not about involving any other person. This is about you. And if you can successfully and honestly go the entire 21 days without ever thinking, uttering or engaging in any negativity around relationships, you will find yourself in a whole new world.
Every relationship is truly just a mirror of yourself and if you do desire some changes, the best place to initiate that change is by working on yourself.
Having a prosperous lifestyle is only possible when we have nourishing relationships and I know women struggle manifesting both success and passionate relationships but I’m here to tell you, it’s time to release that old belief.
Stop arguing for your limitations and simply work on slowly cultivating love for yourself and others. Trust that you deserve to thrive and have it all in life.
Janette Getui is a lifestyle, leadership and wealth psychology coach. She’s certified as
a personal and business coach, a law of attraction expert and thinking into results
facilitator who’s had the pleasure of being trained and work with some of the biggest
names in the personal development industry such as Bob Proctor. As such, she’s on a
mission to help others awaken to truth because she believes in freedom and
prosperity for all.
As a transformational coach, in-demand speaker, trainer, seminar leader and
breakthrough queen who came from a homeless hostile background, she’s created an
extraordinary story for herself and now shows others how to do the same. Born in
the second largest slum of Kenya, in Africa, she turned around the fate that was
handed to her by rewriting her destiny by progressively creating her rags to riches
story literally from scratch into the successful entrepreneur, thought leader and
proud mother that she is today. Her mission is to help others awaken to Truth about
Life and how this world really works because she believes in freedom and prosperity
for every individual.
She devotes her time-sharing a simple formula that can show you how to make
manifest your version of heaven here on earth and attain a happy, healthy wealthy
and thriving lifestyle. Her work endeavors to help individuals seeking to become
independently wealthy how to integrate material earthly riches with spiritual
richness because that has been her main learning curve without any of the social
criteria that most people have. Having discovered that there is a connecting link that
we can use to build the bridges that connect lasting and holistic materialism with
spiritualism, she wants more people to start enjoying a good quality of life and
greater abundance. Janette believes with great conviction that you can create a new
reality and destiny for yourself and your loved ones regardless of current conditions,
circumstances or environment.
To connect and learn more: www.janettegetui.com
If your lifestyle needs a makeover check out: www.boldbeautifulblissfulu.com