Being a mom is a truly special humbling gift. It’s an all consuming overwhelming life changing experience which ultimately reveals parts of you you never even knew existed. After going through nine whole months of being in that body twice your usual self, you now well, get to become responsible for that adorable little being you sort of created, which can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time. You get to learn almost every minute how to care, love and understand wholly another being apart from yourself: from every mannerism, sound or even mere silence, you soon learn to put meaning into basically everything. Motherhood challenges you to confront your past demons, make smarter and better choices, thereby becoming a better version of you -the mom whom your kids always adores and look onto with pride.
Yes, that new title comes with a whole lot of labels you all of a sudden want to “clinch” just for your kid – the boss chick holding her own, the cool superhero, who protects her kids with every fiber of her being handling it all with enviable finesse, the fashionista with hair all sleek and shiny, who effortlessly keeps it all together slaying 24/7, the chef who dishes sumptuous delicacies every freaking time and yes, the perfect mum, who smiles all day, giving endless pecks and hugs, cos damn it all, having a bad hair day and being touched by pressure is forbidden in your rule book.
But somehow, you soon discover reality doesn’t quite work that way; there’ll be times when you don’t just quite have it all figured out, you feel unsure of yourself, threatened even, and begin to doubt this incredible privilege bestowed on you, the one that humbly allows you to be called MOTHER. Just cos you’ve been “given the ultimate responsibility” to provide the right answers even when not quite sure.
When those moments come be sure to remind yourself these 4 things:
You don’t have to be perfect
Motherhood is a learning experience so you don’t have to have all the answers. No doubt, you’re doing your very best, giving it your all and that’s absolutely amazing by itself.
You try, try with every thing you’ve got to make it work sometimes but it just doesn’t; know it’s okay. It’s okay to let formula handle things a bit if breastfeeding isn’t just working out so smoothly, give yourself a break. That’s just how it is, not everything will work out the way you plan and its fine.
Trying to be perfect is exhausting and totally drains you out, living you soaking in guilt. When stress kicks in with the bills piling each second, breathe and remind yourself you’re giving it your absolute best and that’s all it takes to be that role model for her kids who makes them proud. Stop the criticism! Your kids love you any which way. Always remember that.
-Self care is crucial
Remember 9 months ago when you were preggo and all, that phase sure did come with its own set of challenges; finding the best sleep positions, not knowing what to eat and what not to eat… but now that your little creature has arrived it might seem you were having a ball then huh? After all, he was just in mummy’s tummy being everly obedient basically tagging along when you’ve got a million errands to run. But things are different now. He’s present and you’ve got to wear your superhero gear cos you’ve got different roles to play; office work must be sorted, house chores and food taken care of, a man who’s waiting on you for some good old TLC, plus, your adorable cutie needs diaper changes, food in his tummy and mum’s attention too. All this, every single day so, let’s face it, it can be exhausting!
Don’t get caught up in it all, learn to squeeze out time for yourself. Hit the spa, pull your hair down, put your feet up, grab your favorite snacks, do the hell whatever you want to and just have a blast. It’s hard but trust me, your body and mind needs “Me” time sometimes. Understand it’s not a luxury but an absolute necessity you must afford. Yeah I get it, motherhood entails sacrifice, but you’ve got to be there to take care of your kids. Take small steps and don’t sweat about the small stuff, get that hair done, fetch your mascara and lipstick, basically, splash on a bit of self care every now and then. Remember you don’t have to be perfect every minute. Take a breather. You deserve it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You can’t do it all, know that. Relatives and friends exist for a reason. Whenever you feel confused or exhausted, give yourself permission to ask for help. Asking doesn’t make you any less a great mum. You do tons of stuff and deserve a little time out every now and then.
You don’t have to be with your baby every second to feel accomplished. You want to give your child the very best and that means being your very best self – mentally and physically. Stop driving yourself silly that something might go horribly wrong for that short time you’re away. Go out there slay and conquer the world. He’ll be fine and appreciative of it in the long run.
-You’re not alone
Know this every step of the way. Thousands of moms have gone through exactly the same experience and they scaled through it, you will too. Motherhood is everything at once; beautiful, heady, challenging, exhausting, humbling and undeniably fulfilling. You’re strong enough, capable enough and yes, worthy of that awesome title – You are the best mum for your kids. Never forget that.
Happy Mother’s Day to every mum out there!
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