Am I Getting Married To The Wrong Person ? Please I Need Advice

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox.We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that , a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to

Hello  Duchess,

It all started five months ago, I met my fiancee through facebook and we started talking and so we decided to meet after one month and we became lovers.After a week ,I asked him about his past relationships and if he had any child out of wedlock and he said yes and it’s a baby girl and that it was a mistake he made about two years ago. so I further asked him the name of the baby mama and the baby’s name and we’re they reside and also were she is from which he told me reluctantly. He said he doesn’t like communicating with them because he is still angry with the baby’s mother and that since the baby was born he has only visited them twice. 

So I believed everything he told and pleaded wit him to show me the girls number or any of their relatives number any time they call him because according to him they haven’t called and that he doesn’t have their no in his phone. So after like a month I asked him if he has heard from them he said no and about that time we have a misunderstanding and so I wanted to know the girls name on facebook and also see the baby’s picture he said the girl is not on facebook so I threatened him wit breakup. That was when he told me that the baby mama’s brother called twice and he didn’t bother to tell me if they called because he felt it was not important. I then asked him the baby mamas name and he unknowingly said another name forgetting he told me some thing else before, I was very disappointed because every time I raise the issue of the girl he is always angry. And do you know he also said the girl is from another place this time around but after he begged me I forgave him and we moved on.

Just yesterday when I visited him I was playing with his phone and I saw a name he dialled during the day and it was the baby mama brother’s name and I was shocked because he never told me he was in touch with them so I asked him if he called them but to my surprise he denied that it’s not the same person and so I held unto the phone and told him I was going to call the person to know the truth that was when he told me he called him and asked me to give him back his phone. 

My brothers and sisters this a man am planning to get married to early next year and we already have the plans. I am not against him keeping in touch with them and taking care of the baby, my concern is the way he is keeping things away from me and lieing about the baby and the mother. Do you think some thing is wrong or am I over reacting because right now am so sad and want to quit the relationship since he doesn’t want to open up to me.
Please help a sister it’s urgent before I marry the wrong person.


1 comment

rachel January 3, 2016 - 8:07 pm are


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