The Thin Line Between Criticism And The Pull Down Mentality

By Duchess Magazine

The Thin Line Between Criticism And The Pull Down Mentality

‘The sky is big enough’ isn’t quite a narrative which rubs off smoothly on some people.

The last couple of days in Nigeria’s gospel circle have been deeply upsetting to say the least. Rubbishing hailed progress recorded in the global world in terms of women supporting each other.

While we must agree that there is most definitely a place for constructive criticism in every sphere of life, fact remains, not all critique is well intended. So then, one wonders, how then do we draw the line between well meaning criticism and blatant arrogant savagery, a deeply personal attack steering from jealously, anger and spite masked as well meaning criticism but matter of factly aiming at tearing down. The answer? In our guts, before our very eyes. The ugly trend stubbornly refusing to give way.

In more recent times, a change in narrative has been witnessed, proof of which hashtags such as #WomenSupportingWomen #WomenSupportingEachOther #WomenEmpoweringWomen and the likes having taken over social media. But more than just a hashtag, it has become an established power movement, an irrevocable vow of the womenfolk, swearing to uphold each other through thick and thin, rightfully securing its place amongst the most inspiring mantras ever.

Tearing Down; The ugly narrative of pulling each other down has sadly come to be synoynmous with women. Builders, sheroes who can achieve just about anything they set their mind to, if only they could just put aside their differences and perhaps that inherent ability to dish it out hot. Ironically, although progress has been recorded, unity still comes far from the equation – women are known to be each other’s sworn enemies – the mere thought of our own makes our skin crawl for no justifiable reason. Even with many deeply unfavourable systems spilling dictates on multiple fronts, sexual assault, rape, sexism…women have still not deemed it fit to present a united army, as can be seen in the career world and society at large. The unwholesome culture of tearing each other apart, rather than lifting up, being the norm.

A zoom in at the recent event in Nigeria and one fact holds true, it’s the Crab Mentality at work- Same attitude, different scenarios. One too many times we’ve seen people, women in particular, overcome with insecurities try to dim another person’s light, aiming to pull every other person around them down just so no one gets the spotlight or they look better.

The top bosses, overwhelmed with anxiety, fear and insecurity refusing to be a mentor or even just lend a helping hand just because unrealistic envy based perception decides to echo in her head – “If she climbs, I go down!” We see it at our every turn; the corporate world, business world, entertainment, sports world… everywhere humans exist!

As humans, rather than feel threatened by another person’s success, we should all learn to be happy for each other, cheering each other on, then perhaps take a step back, look inwards and try to be better.

Seeing others succeed should make you embrace hope, not shatter what’s left of it. A look at someone succeeding shouldn’t be a reminder of your failures. No one is responsible for holding you back. Take responsibility! Be inspired to make progress.

Rise above trying to dampen people’s spirit just because you aren’t the one making the headlines. No one should rob you of your sense of self worth.

Quit with the downplaying of success, unnecessary criticism, discouragement and harsh comments, life’s too short to get stuck with the pull down mentality. You deserve better and so do others. We rise by lifting each other!

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