Akudo Abengowe-Adebayo: Being a Woman in the Lagos Hustle

By Duchess Magazine

My world is an amazing one, or so I choose to describe it. It may not be filled with so much drama, but it’s amazing because I made the best decision of my life a long time ago. I chose to be happy no matter what!

It is the best decision because since then, I have viewed life and all its happenstances with humour. I find humour in every situation and what does humour make you do? It makes you smile. So there it is; my aim is to make you smile from the constant stories of me and the things happening in my world. If I bore you, I am sorry.

There is a popular saying that to be a man is not easy. How about to be a woman? So much emphasis has been made on the way men literarily go through hell, to fend for the family. These days, however, women go through as much hell if not more.

I am no feminist, I think that word has been seriously misconstrued by people who have no inkling of what the true meaning of feminism is. I feel that women – especially mothers – go through a lot to keep the family together and they are most often not appreciated for their efforts.

My crazy schedule starts with my daily morning prayers to my King, then a 30-minute workout at the gym near my house, so I wake up before everyone. I come back from the gym and sort out my kids’ breakfast, and prepare my daughter for school. All the while, hubby will be snoring away, (side eyes at him). I make breakfast for hubby with instructions to the nanny on how to serve him, dash in for my bath, get dressed and leave the house.

Going to work on the Island in Lagos, was very hectic for me as I had to spend 2 hours maximum to get to the Island from Ikeja where I live, and coming home was worse since I spend at least 3 hours. Thankfully, I am exploring my dreams as an entrepreneur and my office is now in Ikeja, Hallelujah somebody.

But seriously nothing has changed much. While being busy at work, trying to meet up with several meetings and work load, I’ll steal a moment to call the house to find out how the kids are doing. Hearing their voices in the background is a strong form of consolation for me that they are ok.

In between work I also have to check on hubby (at least to be the loving wife) and ask about his day and what he would love to eat for dinner, making a mental note to buy some fresh vegetables from the night market on my way home. Thank God for these night markets in Lagos, some of us would have been sent packing from our homes for want of time to buy some needed items during the day. Not very funny if you have a partner like mine who loves to eat fresh food.

Sometimes, it gets really crazy at work and I find myself either settling fights or counselling my colleagues, while thinking of the million and one things I have to do before the day ends, hmmph. Work closes and I rush home into the waiting arms of my kids. Trust me, they make all the stress worthwhile. I prepare dinner, try to help my daughter with her assignment and play with them. I also try to catch up on TV, while cuddling the kids, who basically love to fall asleep in my arms one after the other.

When they have finally slept, I indulge in some guilty pleasure which is late night TV or movie, while waiting for hubby to come home. Most times I would have dozed off before he comes back, but will always wake up because he will either want to eat or make out, to which I have to TRY and do the best my tired bones can allow…e no easy to be woman abeg.

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