Help! I Am Scared About the Initmate side of marriage

By Duchess Magazine

Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to
Dear Duchess,
My name is Trisha, I’ve been married for eleven months. My religion prevented us from physical intimacy before marriage and so we were virgins when we got married.
Although I was nervous about that side of things I was also looking forward to it and discovering what all the hype was about.
I know that men and woman have different needs when it comes to this but I really don’t like the physical thing at all.

I love my husband and want to make him happy and I don’t know what to do

Firstly it really hurts every time and my husband wants to do it just about every night. Is this normal? I have started pretending that I’m asleep a lot of the time.
My husband has a very physical job and he’ll often get into bed without showering first and the last thing I want is for him to come near me then.
I tried to talk to my older sister about this but we don’t talk about things like that and she just said woman aren’t supposed to enjoy it and he’ll get used to doing it less when we’re married for longer, especially if I don’t encourage him.  The ‘don’t jiggle my book’ kind of thing.
I love him and don’t want him to go to another woman. I thought it would be different. Please help me.

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