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Dear Duchess,

I need to know if I am enabling my husband with what I think is an addiction to drugs. We have been married for 13 years but together 23. I didn’t know about the drug use in the beginning but once I found out I expressed my dislike and displeasure. He hid it from me. My problem is that I wish I had been strong enough to tell him to leave when he started using in our home. I have begged and pleaded for him to quit and get help. He is so consumed with image and what we have as far as material possessions and because we have possessions, he doesn’t think he has a problem. I have tried to make myself believe that because he only does it two or three times a week that he doesn’t have a problem. I have told him that it’s disrespectful to get high in our home. He tells me that he is grown, so in other words, because it is his home too, it’s not disrespectful. We are both in our 50s and I don’t want to live my life or what I have left of it married to someone on drugs. Am I wrong and is there something wrong with me? I want to help him but he gets angry when I bring it up.