Here is a message we received in our inbox. We will appreciate your contributions on this issue. Remember that a problem shared is a problem half solved. If you have an issue bothering you, feel free to send a mail to [email protected]
I’m 32, married for 10 years. My husband and I, after four miscarriages, decided that children just aren’t in the cards for us. Neither of us is too broken up about this – we were in the ‘0-1’ camp anyways.
My sister, [who is 27], got married about a year and a half ago and is experiencing similar fertility issues. I know of at least two failures to carry, including a loss at 5.5 months gestation. She and her husband both really, really want kids.
This is the problem – my sister asked me for help paying for fertility treatments. Personally, I believe fertility treatments are unethical: you’re using your limited resources for a plan that may or may not succeed in order to pass on your genetic material that is pretty obviously flawed. That and there’s the whole adoption-of-already-existing-children angle.
The biggest kicker is that money is not an issue for my family, it is for hers. I honestly don’t think that they’re in a good position financially or emotionally for kids, period, let alone the rigors of fertility treatment. Buuuut… how do I tell her I won’t pony up the cash so she can be a mommy?